Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Our lives are split in two. Like a large gaping wound separating decades of time, our lives suddenly changed forever on February 21st, 2012.

The day started with a blanket of nervous anticipation enveloping our household. It was the day we were going to find out...find out if our little baby to come would prefer blue or pink. Everyone had an opinion, the boys expected to become the dominant force in the home after HIS arrival. However, the girls were subtle in their confidence that the new addition would add just enough feminine to control the home forever.
The time for the ultrasound came and we all looked on in shear delight and excitement. The technician asked, "well, would you like to know what you're having?" a collective "YEAH!" was the energetic response she invited. It turns out, Mom knew all along...our precious little angel to come...would most certainly be very fond of pink.

In all the excitement, we almost overlooked the concern that suddenly swept over the technicians face. It was clear that she saw something very wrong with the images she was so meticulously reviewing. "What are you looking for?" we asked. "Just making sure everything is where it's supposed to be," she replied vaguely. But something about the look on her face and the time she spent analyzing the shape of our little girls head made us uneasy. "Does everything look alright?" we asked. "From what I can tell, but the radiologist will have to look it over," she said with an air of uncertainty that she failed to hide. "Congratulations," she said as we left the room. "Thank you so much," we replied...and we left with a false sense of hope and comfort that would fade as quickly as it appeared.

We spent the next few hours celebrating the news...calling family...texting friends...enjoying the prospects of a wonderful knew life to come. We enjoyed lunch together and talked about baby girl names...never fully agreeing on one...but pacifying those making the suggestions by complimenting the originality of their creations...then quickly offering a seemingly more appropriate name.

Then...it was time for the routine OB/GYN appointment. We arrived early and were quickly brought back to the exam room. I will always remember looking up and my beautiful wife...as in love as we've ever been...basking in the wonder that our love has once again created life.

The doctor walked in...shook my hand firmly...and sat down. He let out a big sigh and spoke words that I will foerever wish he could take back. "Well, I'm really worried about your baby girl."

The world stopped turning. In that moment, there was nothing else in the world that mattered. The triviality of current challenges caused them to fade from existence and suddenly...everything we ever knew...changed. It was like this doctor took a sword and split the timeline of our lives in two. When it comes to the words he spoke...there will forever be...before we heard them...and after.


  1. Corbin & McKenzie,
    We have a prayer in our hearts for you constantly.
    You are so strong - and we love you so much!!

  2. Praying for you guys! I've never met your wife Corbin, but she sounds like an angel. A strong and loving angel. Sending our love to Utah and will continue to pray

    Susanne S. Mackintosh

  3. Corbin,
    This is Lacee... I found your blog from Facebook. I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope you can understand that is what I have to say & react to all patients. I'm sorry that I left you with an uneasy feeling. I feel terrible about this. But I am praying for your little angel.

    1. Oh Lacee...you are so awesome! I know exactly how you feel...and in all reality...you should not feel terrible in the least bit. You were wonderful and gave us the great news about our little one being a girl. Being a Medic...I find myself in the same position all the time...being unable to truly explain the significance of the findings...and my personal experience has to take a back seat to professionalism...you did the ONLY ETHICAL thing you could do during the ultrasound...and for that we thank you!!! You are the best! Don't waste a second worrying...you did a wonderful job! And we have a compliment directly to you from the perinatologist in SLC...he said..."That was a nice catch by the technician down there"...referring to you!!! Well done. Without you...we may not have even known or been able to prepare at all for our little angel to come. Much love, Corb

  4. Corbin and McKenzie-
    We just want you to know that we are thinking of you and that you are in our prayers. We are hoping for the best for your little girl. She is coming to such an amazing family!

    love, Lauren&Steve

  5. As a mother that heard words like yours - I can relate to the "before the words" and "after the words". Life will forever change for you and all those that know you, but the blessings that will come will be so enormous - Not that it wont be hard, it will - but having a loving family and a strong community will give you peace and comfort at the end of a long day. Stay Strong!