Timing can be ironic...timing can be funny...and sometimes, sometimes timing is just miraculous. First of all...we have been doing very well. We have settled into our new "normal"...and though from the outside looking in...our situation may appear chaotic at times...we absolutely LOVE our life. Just as Wyatt and Skylar did...Lily has proven since the moment we found out she was coming to our family...she has proven to be exactly what our family has needed to feel whole. She is perfect. She is the light of all of our lives. She makes things better in every way...complicated...scary at times...but with her divine ability to touch peoples hearts and radiate love...we are better...the world is better...with her in our family. Kenz and I often watch our children in awe...amazed at the grace we've been extended as imperfect people...entrusted with some of the most noble and important souls ever to be born. We can't imagine our lives without each of them...or each other...and that is why FAMILY is the heart of God's plan. Family drives us to be better...to stand and fight...to kneel and be grateful...to extend ourselves far beyond what we believe is our normal capacity for good...a capacity only a loving Father in Heaven knows we possess.
I am an imperfect man...so much so that I often wonder how on earth my wife ever accepted my attention and affection...how on earth God ever thought it wise and allowed these children...Wyatt, Skylar, and our little Lily...to call me "Daddy". I'm simply amazed.
We have been very blessed to make the acquaintance of many wonderful people. We have...because of the incredible donations of so many...been able to afford to take Lily to some very special therapists...who have truly worked some miracles for our little girl. Her verbal growth has been astounding...her upper body is getting stronger and more coordinated...and we have seen movement in her legs that we never thought would be possible. None of this...in and of itself...will mean that Lily will be without significant challenges in her life...however...it does confirm what we already knew...Lily is a fighter. She will accomplish ALL that she desires to for good. Her body and mind are strong and heaven is the limit.
I have dedicated the past 6 years of my life to bettering myself for the sake of my sweet family. For me...bettering myself means learning to help other people in their times of need. That is why I'm a paramedic...that is why I got my degree...and that is why I'm headed to PA school in June. People often associate the word "hero" with those who put themselves at risk to help others. This week...I had the privilege of teaching a Tactical Combat Medicine course to some police officers and SWAT operators from Utah and Idaho. It is always a wonderful experience working with true heroes every day...striving to emulate and maybe one day be counted among them. After class on Wednesday evening...I went straight to the Sandy Fire Station to recertify my Healthcare Provider BLS/CPR/AED. I take my training very seriously...because I know just how important it is and how...when lives are hanging in the balance...when knowledge and courage must come together...and action is the only currency...training is everything.
Little did I know...at the same moment I was giving practice rescue breaths to a plastic infant...heroes in my home...were saving the life of my own little girl.
Lily has...on a handful of occasions...cried herself unconscious. She exhales during a crying fit and doesn't breath for so long...that she actually passes out. This is not entirely uncommon for kids...though it is rare for children as young as Lily...and almost all children start breathing again on their own. One instance...a month or two ago...she passed out...and just as I was about to give her a quick rescue breath...she started breathing again.
Wednesday night was different...and there was no medic in the house...just a mother, brother, and sister, grandma, and aunt...who did a better job than I ever could have...saving our baby.
Miraculously...Kenz trained Wyatt on how to call 911 and what to do in case of an emergency on Tuesday night...timing:)
Wednesday night...Lily started crying and lost consciousness...only this time...she didn't start breathing again. She turned blue...then gray...and as terrified Wyatt and Skylar looked on...my hero wife...without hesitation...took action. It's amazing...she has NEVER done CPR or rescue breaths on a child...much less her own...and it's been over a year since her last CPR training...yet she did everything...and I mean EVERYTHING right.
She laid Lily on the flat and hard ground...she looked for signs of breathing and felt for a pulse. When she realized Lily wasn't breathing at all...but did have a pulse...she looked to Wyatt for help. Wyatt, sobbing, said..."Is she dead Mom? She looks dead! We're not going to have a baby anymore!" Kenz calmly told him to run next door and get Gamoo (Grandma Diane) and tell her to come quick...it's an emergency...Lily isn't breathing. And with that...my little boy...my little hero 6 year old took off! He ran as fast as he could next door. Kenz heard him screaming and banging on the door as loud as he could. "Gamoo...hurry...it's an emergency...Lily's not breathing!!!" He yelled through his tears. As soon as my mom came to the door...he grabbed her hand and ran...almost dragging her...back to our house. All this time...Kenz...without missing a beat...began rescue breathing for our baby. She plugged her little nose...put her lips over Lily's and...every 3 or 4 seconds...Kenz gave her a little breath. Kenz noticed almost immediately that Lily began to pink up...but still wasn't breathing on her own. So Kenz kept it up for almost two minutes. My mom called 911 and within a minute or so...the first officer arrived. Just as he did...Lily started to breath on her own...but it was labored and irregular. Kenz kept up the breaths to help her along. Then...she whimpered a bit and after a few minutes started to come to. She was a bit lethargic but began acting normally within a few minutes after that. Wyatt and Sky were crying...as they thought their baby sister was dying. My little sister Kelsey came over to hold them and comfort them...but Kenz just kept doing EXACTLY what she needed to...in perfect sequence. She ignored the panic and terror...something I have felt many times but could not imagine feeling with regard to my own children...and she saved our little one...who...for some reason couldn't start breathing again on her own.
My mom later told me how impressed she was with how calm my wife was. Kenz held it together until later...until all was well...
Kenz called me...and I rushed home...breaking a few laws on the way. I walked into my home...grateful for the Sandy Fire Paramedics and Police Officers who came rushing to help...grateful to find my wife...my hero...standing there holding my sweet breathing baby in her arms.
The medics assessed Lily...and found her to be stable. We felt confident that we could get her to Primary's safely...and we did.
After a few hours of observation...we were allowed to bring her home. We wanted Lily home in the morning when her brother and sister woke up...to help them overcome this traumatic experience.
We have some tests scheduled in the coming weeks to see why Lily has such difficulty recovering from an apneic spell on her own...but she has been fine since...clueless about the years she sporadically takes off her parents lives:)
Wyatt and Skylar said prayers that night...as we all did...but Wyatt said "Please bless Lily that she'll keep breathing...please bless that she won't die." I sure hope that prayer is one that can be answered in our favor. It's a hard thing to live life with so many reminders around you...of how fragile it can be. Especially when those reminders are our little ones. My dear friend Parley said something profound to me. He said, "Lily is such a special soul. I believe she still lives between worlds. Perhaps that's why, when you're in her presence, you feel such a calm and sacred spirit." I think you're right Parley. We just need her to fully commit to living here...with us...for many decades to come.
I am a proud man. I've never been more impressed with a person in my life...than I have been with my wife this past year and a half. She is the most wonderful mother I could have ever hoped for. Her children have all her traits...and that is why they too...are examples to me. I live in a home full of heroes...and I'm not talking about me. They were there when I wasn't...they did what I couldn't...and I have never had more confidence in the genuine goodness and divinity of humanity...than I have now...watching my dear wife and children. I don't think I could live without any member of my family...and because of my wife and little ones...I don't really worry about that right now.
I thank God for them every second of every day of my life.